The Return
by Elizabeth Wilde
Summary: Cordelia finds a way to bring Doyle back
1. Blue Christmas

Author: Gabrielle Collins (Gabby Spike)  
Title: Blue Christmas  
Series: The Return  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks me for it, my site [http://hellmouth.20m.com]  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the song, just the story. I'll return them all in mint condition, I promise!  
'Ship: Cordy/Doyle-ish  
Classification: angst  
Summary: Cordelia misses Doyle at Christmas.  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: through "Hero"  
Feedback: to gabby_spike@yahoo.com  
Notes: The graphic for this story can be seen at http://hellmouth.20m.com/bluechristmas.html  
  
Bells will be ringing  
The glad, glad news  
Oh, what a Christmas  
To have the blues.  
My baby's gone,  
I have no friends  
To wish me greetings  
Once again.   
Choirs will be singing  
"Silent Night"  
Christmas carols  
By candlelight.  
Please come home for Christmas  
Please come home for Christmas  
If not for Christmas  
Then by New Year's Night   
Friends and relations  
Send salutations  
Sure as the stars shine above  
For this is Christmas  
Christmas, my dear  
The time of year  
To be with the one you love   
~ "Please Come Home For Christmas"  
  
Cordelia stared at the foot tall Christmas tree on her coffee table. Dennis had left it entirely alone, save to straighten the star on top. "Not exactly the most festive decorating job ever." But the spirit of the season somehow had passed her by, leaving only quiet depression and a need for something just out of reach.  
  
"Ugh, even Christmas with the Slayer and her icky friends would be better than this!" Cordelia grabbed the nearest pillow and held it tight against her chest. She even considered calling Angel. Dull company is better than no company at all. But it wasn't Angel she wanted to see.  
  
Rubbing her head, Cordelia willed herself to have a vision. It had never worked before. And it wasn't working now. "If I'm going to have these damn things why can't I see what I want to see? Who I want to see," she added in a whisper. It had been almost two months. "One month and twenty-four days. And I'm counting. Yeah, that makes this so much less pathetic."   
  
She had learned not to bother fighting the sudden bouts of helpless rage and sadness. "Damn it!" The pillow became both punching bag and confidant. "Why did he have to do that? Why couldn't he just let Angel . . ." But she already knew that no true hero would let someone else suffer when they could prevent it. And Doyle was a true hero. "We had just gotten everything out. All the cards were on the table. The only thing left to do was date. And could TPB let it happen? Oh, no! Couldn't let something fuzzy and happy happen in my life. The world might end."  
  
After throwing the pillow at the wall, Cordelia winced. "Sorry, Dennis. My bad." Tired of her brief exercise in self-pity, Cordelia reached across the table and grabbed a box of matches. She carefully lit the two bright red candles and focused her energy on them like Willow had once showed her. "Wherever you are, Doyle, I want you to know that I miss you." After a moment's pause to swallow her tears, Cordelia continued, "I think it's supposed to get better when you lose somebody. But it gets worse. I miss you more every day. I think about you a lot. And it feels so lonely! Even now that Wesley's there too, it still feels like there's this huge empty place in my life where you're supposed to be. So, if you can hear me, I want you back. We deserve a chance, right?"   
  
Tears ran unchecked down her cheeks and blurred the candles in her vision until they looked like a single flame. "Please don't leave me alone," she begged the silent air around her. Cordelia sat watching the flames and crying until the candles burned themselves out.   
  



	2. Opportunity Knocks

Author: Gabrielle Collins (Gabby Spike)  
Title: Opportunity Knocks   
Series: The Return #1  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who wants it, http://hellmouth.20m.com [my site]  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Angel, and I'm not making any money off of this. So there!  
'Ship: slight Cordy/Doyle  
Classification: general  
Summary: A mysterious old woman may have the solution to Cordelia's problem.  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: through "Hero" on Angel  
Feedback: to gabby_spike@yahoo.com  
  
"I always have sucked at grabbing opportunities." Cordelia tapped a pencil rapidly on her desktop. "I mean, look at my career! I'm supposed to be a famous actress, not a bad secretary."  
  
Angel stared at Cordelia for a minute, then replied, "Not that bad."  
  
"Cute. Mock me in my self-pity! God, Angel, why didn't you become a therapist?"  
  
"I'm sensing sarcasm."  
  
With a groan, Cordelia eased herself out of the worn office chair and grabbed her coat. "Lunch break."  
  
"It's only been fifteen minutes since your last lunch break," Angel pointed out, his tone neither harsh nor accusatory.  
  
"Dinner then."  
  
"Cordelia?"  
  
She stopped dead in her tracks and turned her head. "Yeah?"  
  
"I miss him too."  
  
After managing little more than a weak smile, Cordelia fled the office.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As Cordelia made her way down the street form Angel's office, she fought a losing battle with tears of frustration and regret. There are so many things I should have done! And not done. To start with, I should never have dated Xander. I wouldn't be here if I had just avoided him in the first place. If I hadn't gotten all emotionally scarred by that pig, I wouldn't . . . what? Wouldn't have come to L.A.? Wouldn't have met Doyle? Wouldn't have . . . "Ugh!"  
  
"You carry a lot of anger for someone so young and pretty," a voice colored by a faint, unidentifiable accent observed from with a dark shop.  
  
Fortunes, Potions and Palm Reading proclaimed the sign above Cordelia. "Uh, whatever." Am I a freak magnet or what? She prepared to hurry past, but the woman called to her again.  
  
"Come, child! You must not fear me. Eccentric I may be, but not dangerous."  
  
"Thank you, Master Yoda," Cordelia muttered to herself. What can it hurt? "Okay, what are you selling?"  
  
The woman took Cordelia's arm and drew her inside the shop. Her ancient face crinkled with smile lines and her gray hair fell loose to her waist. "I am Ozilline. I am not selling anything, not for you. For you, a gift." Liquid blue eyes sparkled as the woman drew a vial from her oversized shirt pocket.  
  
"Glitter?" Inside the vial shone what appeared to be white glitter.  
  
"No, child!" Ozilline laughed, already leading Cordelia out of the shop. "This potion will grant your fondest wish. Go no. You have until midnight to decide."  
  
Cordelia found herself outside the shop once more. When she turned to demand a better explanation, she saw a boarded-up, rotted door and broken windows instead of the mysteriously welcoming shop. "Oh-kay, then. Didn't happen. I've lost it. Completely-" She felt the cool vial clutched in her hand and stopped. "This has been a Hell of a day."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
When Cordelia finally retired to bed that night, she set the vial on her bedside table. "So, you're gonna grant me a wish, huh? Whatever I want most?" She considered the possibilities, envisioning a huge mansion with servants and a valet and an Olympic swimming pool. She pictured a successful actin career with paparazzi and a gorgeous movie star boyfriend.  
  
The lamp on her bedside table clicked off. "Night, Dennis." Cordelia sighed, a fine mist of tears suddenly blurring her vision. No, I don't want the money. Not most, anyway. She closed her eyes with an exhausted sigh and fell back onto the bed. I want Doyle back.  
  
Unseen by the sleeping Cordelia, the vial's contents began to glow faintly, then turned into a blue mist and vanished.  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Paid in Full

Author: Gabrielle Collins (Gabby Spike)  
Title: Paid in Full  
Series: The Return  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who wants it, http://hellmouth.20m.com [my site]  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the 'Angel' characters. Don't sue. I have nothing to give you.  
'Ship: Cordy/Doyle  
Classification: romance, fluffy happy stuff  
Summary: Whatever is in the mysterious vial works.  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: through "Hero" on Angel  
Feedback: to gabby_spike@yahoo.com  
  
"Wake up, Princess."  
  
Cordelia buried her head deeper in her pillows and protested sleepily, "Don't wanna." An unidentified hand gently shook her back and she snapped into a sitting position, eyes wide as she realized who was beside her. "Doyle!" He sat on the edge of her bed, clad in the maroon shirt, black jeans and brown jacket she last remembered. "Are you really here?"  
  
"Yeah. Seem real too!" He smiled down at her, obviously not upset in the least to have appeared in her bedroom in the middle of the night. "Question is, how'd I get here?"  
  
Cordelia hoped her hair wasn't as scary as it felt and that she didn't have morning breath. She pointed to the now-empty vial on her bedside table, laying all blame on it. "This weird old lady gave me some . . . potion. She had a little occult shop, and when I turned around to ask her how to make my wish, it was . . . it was all boarded up," she finished with a frown.  
  
"Wish?"  
  
She nodded and hesitantly took Doyle's hand in hers. "The lady said to wish for whatever I wanted most. I wanted you."  
  
Doyle's brow creased in an almost comic expression of surprise and disbelief. "Me?"  
  
"Yes, you. By the time we found each other . . ." Cordelia bit her lip and continued quickly, "Let's not talk about that, okay? Let's talk about us."  
  
He released her hand and gently traced the curve of her cheek. "I never thought there'd be an us to talk about."  
  
"Yeah, well, you're a guy. Guys aren't known for their intuition. Which reminds me . . ." She grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him close, focusing on returning her "gift" to its rightful owner. Even after she was sure Doyle had his visions back, Cordelia remained in his embrace. When the kiss ended, she laid her head on his shoulder, secure in the knowledge that he felt the same as she did. "Why didn't we do this before?"  
  
"Because I was too chicken to ask you out or tell you I'm half demon." He stroked her hair gently.  
  
"Oh, yeah. I remember now. You still owe me dinner."  
  
"Whatever you want, Princess." When Cordelia leaned back against her headboard, Doyle realized how intimate the situation was and moved to stand. The pressure of a small hand on his arm halted the movement. He looked down into Cordelia's eyes and, seeing the fear written there, sat again, wrapping her gently in his arms. Doyle lay back against the headboard and pulled her close. "What's the matter, Princess?"  
  
"I just don't want you to leave." Cordelia's voice barely registered as a whisper. "I . . . What if I let you leave or I fall asleep and when I wake up, you're gone again?" She shivered at the thought and rested her head more firmly on his chest.   
  
"I'm not going anywhere, not again. I just found you. You just get some sleep, alright? I'll come back tomorrow and-"  
  
"No!" Cordelia craned her neck to look into Doyle's eyes. "Please? Just . . . stay here?" Something of her usual confidence returned and she added, "Don't get any ideas, though. You're only staying because I'm emotionally unstable. Understood?" When he nodded obediently, Cordelia allowed herself a smile. "Good." She laid her head back on his chest. "I'm just not that kind of girl. Well... except for that once, and," she paused, "you don't get to hear that story yet."  
  
Doyle smiled to himself and replied, "I can hardly wait."  
  
"Yeah, well, don't hold your breath. And be quiet, will you? Trying to sleep here."  
  
Grinning even wider, Doyle planted a soft kiss on the top of Cordelia's head. "That's my Princess."  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
